The Greens of Jericho

Reviewer: Penny Lane Signed [Report This]
Date: 24 Jul 2015 1:05:39 PM Title: Part 15C

I'm...so late to the party, so like a late party guest, I'm just going to barge in and say a bunch of things I think and hope they make sense. Oh, and should say I'm happy to be here, enjoying the party, I like all the details and interesting contrasts, but also some parts are a bit heartbreaking. And like someone doing a late tour of a party, I'm going to focus my thoughts on various people there. Like:

Quote: "Mornin', sunshine," Jake drawled sarcastically, pushing his way into the house. He looked his friend up and down. Dhuwalia was, in a word, unkempt. His eyes were bloodshot, he needed a shave, and while his hair wasn't exactly a mess, he'd clearly slept on it at one very odd angle. He was barefoot and wearing jeans that really needed to be washed, paired with a Chicago Bulls t-shirt that proclaimed that the team had won the 1998 NBA championship. Over this, he wore a black hoodie that Jake was fairly certain had once been his. But of course, everything that Dhuwalia owned was hand-me-down; he'd arrived in Jericho with, literally, nothing but the scrubs on his back. "So, when did you last have a drink?" Jake demanded.

Poor Kenchy. I've probably said it before, I think he's the most heartbreaking character. He's probably way luckier than many in the country, but also much less lucky than most of the ones we get to know, and he has no support system. Well, he does, but it's a thing making people more alienated from him (and a pretty unreliable one at that). And then here he's in such a bad place, and people are dragging him out of it because they need him, and then...okay I won't project too far ahead about how it'll turn out and if/when he gets a win/finds a way to find himself again. Just...heartbreaking situation within a heartbreaking situation, am I right?

Though...

Quote: "Good," Drake had declared. "That's what I'm tryin' for. People listen to you, and right now I need 'em to listen to me." Ahead of them, the ceiling lights had flickered to life and Drake had stalked the three feet to the nearest switch, slapping it off. "Okay people!" he'd shouted, "Here's the deal! No lights allowed until further notice."

The crowd had rumbled again, a male voice protesting, "But what about -"

"No exceptions!" Drake had bellowed before adding, more quietly, "Live with it or leave."

Support system, working and in place. I like Drake and I am enjoying seeing him somewhat...rebuilding himself? With the help of the aforementioned system. Or maybe he's coming into his own (since I don't see him in flashbacks, maybe this side of the tragic stuff he's been through, once he's coming out of the most traumatic of it, will be his best, strongest self ever). It is neat to see and a continued part of the “young adult characters making themselves into selves during a time of turmoil” that I've mentioned a few times before, especially around the Mikey/Jeff/Drake trio.

Quote: Eric held up both hands in a sign of surrender. "No way," he denied, shaking his head. "You're not gettin' me up on that thing, sorry Jim. I ride horses, not bulls, mechanical or otherwise," he insisted. "But any time you want to put in a karaoke machine...."

"Karaoke?" Heather questioned, surprised. "Really? You're a karaoke fan," she chuckled. "Wow. My brothers are all major karaoke fiends."

"Well, sorry to say, Eric, but it's gonna be over my dead body that a karaoke machine ever gets into Bailey's," Jim informed him. "So," he continued, clearing his throat, "Are you waitin' for Jake, or can I get you something to drink?"

What? Come on, Jim! (I guess if I were a Jericho citizen at this time, I'd be heading over to whatever neighbouring town did have karaoke. I'd hope it isn't New Bern). In seriousness, I enjoyed this whole sequence at the bar, with the origin story of the mechanical bull, and this group of characters having an amiable night during more carefree times (aspersions on karaoke aside).

Also,

Quote: "Jake's joining the church softball team?" Mary asked as she placed a basket of fries - the last item of their order - in the center of the table. "Wow. Don't tell my dad, he's trying to get the Main Street Merchants Mickey Mantles going again this year - you know it's always hard to get enough women, but Colleen says she's playing, so...."

"The Mickey Mantles? Do all the teams have better names than the Sluggers?"

"Stop trying to change the subject," April ordered, pointing a fry at Heather. "So Mary, A, B or C?"

"Or D," Heather reminded.

"Okaaaay," Mary stalled while she finished collapsing the stand she'd been using. "So, religious conversion, exercise -"

"And, fresh air," Heather mumbled.

"Fresh air and exercise," Mary amended gamely, "Impressing you, or all of the above, right?"

"Correct," Eric confirmed, reaching for his burger.

Hahaha. I like all the little world building moments in these flashbacks. It's valuable to hear about what's going on in various parts of the universe during the apocalypse, but these parts give a nice counterbalance to those parts, and your going back and forth lends them an emotional meaning. Like a time travel effect – making happy things also sad and sadder future things...bittersweet, I guess.

Quote: "It's fine," Constantino had assured, his lip twitching softly. "I always enjoy watching democracy in action."

"So," Gray inquired, once everyone was assembled. "What're we talkin' about?" he asked, glancing sideways at New Bern's sheriff and mayor. "Couple hundred pounds?"

Constantino looked simultaneously annoyed and amused. "For the first one, maybe," he informed them, glancing quickly over at the wind turbine that stood in the middle of the flower bed, tantalizing, almost ready to go. "But you want more," he reminded, "So no, we're gonna need a lot more than -"

"Wait a minute," Gray interjected, frowning. "I think we're entitled to the 'friends and family' discount here, Phil. It was our idea, our designs. Your people came here and consulted with my team -"

"Drawings on the page aren't what's gonna power your clinic," Constantino countered. "New Bern built that," he reminded, pointing at the wind turbine, "When Jericho couldn't, when all you had were a couple of technical drawings done by a third grade teacher." He glanced at Johnston, his tone lightening for a moment as he added, "Beautifully drawn, you be sure to tell Heather that. But still... we're the ones who made it happen."

Oh Phil. Not even really trying for non-menacing sincerity here, are ya? Poor team Jericho, so stuck before this deal is started that they can't really heed the red flags I assume they're observing. I continue to...like is not the right word. Appreciate your creepy Constantino. So smarmy and icky and condescending (to people who aren't even there!) but I guess he's doing a good enough job at reaching his objectives. In a sort of contrast,

Quote: Gray relaxed visibly. The mine and salt, those were the mayor's true comfort zone, his natural fit, much more so than town politics where he had to listen to and consider everyone else's arguments, where votes had to be taken, and where his word was not actually law - or at the very least official company policy, in the best interest of every employee to obey. But the citizens of Jericho were exactly that; citizens, not employees, and at least for now, Jericho still operated under its charter first established in 1887, a fact that Gray had - slowly - come to terms with.

This makes a lot of sense. Gray grappling with this situation where he thought he was a good leader, because he (probably? Seems like) he was a good leader in his business world, and signed on to this campaign during peace time, and then somehow got more determined to try to lead after the bombs and his harrowing experiences on the road, and then found himself so ridiculously in over his head. And I think he genuinely does want to take care of the town, does care about the people, but this is the worst kind of on the job training. But then again, everyone's in over their heads. Like, everyone at this negotiation. Neither town can survive on their own, let alone the individuals. I like that Gray is reckoning with all that, realizing Johnston is his best resource and ally, and they're doing their best. And I liked the little touches in this chapter that brought Gray's more human, wanting to be helpful sides to the forefront.

Quote: Johnston had glanced around the room then, taking it all in. The window blinds had been closed, despite the fact that it was still light - though overcast - outside. There had been piles of bedding everywhere, leading him to surmise that they were all sleeping in the great room, around the fire, which had been banked, but at least - he'd thought, relief flooding through him - they had one. Their clothes had hung on Janine's and Lorrie's frames, and Lorrie, who'd always been lithe - had practically been swimming in her borrowed cold weather clothing. The little girls had looked healthy - skinny, but not emaciated - though their faces had been pale and dirty, their lips chapped, their hair snarled in places. "Where's Alex?" he'd asked, looking around the room for the eight year old.

"Working off some energy in the basement," Janine had sighed. "Kendra and Brian are down there with the boys, letting them ride the bikes around. They don't last long these days, but they're still boys," she'd shrugged

At that moment it had occurred to Johnston - his throat immediately going dry - that this was a group under siege, wary of going outside, or even betraying their presence by letting the fire burn to warm the house during the day. But his question - and he'd been struggling with how to phrase that question - had died on his lips when he'd heard his sister-in-law's voice.

Okay, so this section. I read this part last (of course), and wanted to write about it first, but I had a hard time gathering my thoughts coherently so I'll just jump and see where it takes me, alright?

I thought that was a good quote to start what I wanted to think/talk about. I really appreciated this further glimpse into a place beyond the confines of these two towns that we get to see, a place where people are again, like Kenchy, probably luckier than some (or a lot), but less lucky than our heroes (who, I guess had to be the luckiest people possible just for longevity of the show, like that enough would survive and have energy to get involved in plots every week). It's kinda weird I guess, how well off everything was for the main characters of the show, but I guess sort of a far enough mind trip for a first world audience to imagine, a difficult enough set of conditions to survive and not be totally hopeless (and exist in a fun speculative fiction show). But...it is possible to survive in so much worse and so many people do every day. And have, in war times (and peace times). Like, humans are so tough and resilient and resourceful (though also so fragile at the same time). I like that you gave us a bit more of a glimpse of that here. Actual desperate survival, confined to one family in one house. I know a lot of our stories (and the show's stories) veer towards the soap side of things, all the love stories and such (I wanted to make a joke about that once – of course they're taking time for their love lives, they're in a Jericho story), but I feel like this is an important side of the material and important to think about. And you painted a vivid, tragic portrait that I think is an important piece in the bigger mural of your story. So, nicely done.

Also, just had to mention,

Quote: "No! No!" Johnston had declared loudly, "Jake's home - he's home. Got back the night - the night everything happened. Typical Jake.

Haha. Yeah. It's pretty weird isn't it? I bet this odd timing thing is like, a central storytelling point for the rest of his life. Like, “What kind of life path have I been on? Well, this one time I went home and the same night...” I'm not sure how to explain my reaction here. I guess it's like, Jake has been designed the luckiest of the lucky (to go with my earlier ramblings), so as to be able to be the protagonist I suppose, but it's weird and astronomically, well, lucky. And it's not often really mentioned by everyone, so it amused me here.

Also,

Quote: Lorrie's exclamation had derailed his explanation, but Johnston had hardly minded. "Lorrie, darlin'," he'd smiled, striding across the great room to envelope his niece and great-niece in a hug. They had been snuggled together under a sleeping bag, sitting on one end of a couch, the other of which was occupied by Janine and five year old Zoey, buried in a pile of at least three quilts. "I'm - I'm so sorry about Weijin and your dad," he'd murmured, kissing the side of her head. "So sorry," he'd repeated, taking a half step back as Marissa had squawked in protest over being squished between them.

I wanted to mention that I liked seeing this gentle side of Johnston. I always really liked that about his character, that he acts in a lot of ways like the stereotypical “masculine” man (like gruff, strong silent, etc), but he does have that gentle side dealing with others sometimes, especially dealing with his kids, and a sometimes surprising emotional vulnerability. I really liked that it was him who went on this trip here and encountered these relatives. I don't think any other character could've had this same exact reaction, and I thought it was a really nice way in for us readers. He has a relationship with each of them, but he can be like our voice too, in a way, and he's seeing and offering compassion but not really able to change the situation (much as he'd like to). It is quite poignant.

Also, the O'Briens were an interesting addition to the story. A lot of names to keep track of at first, but you always do such a good job of filling in these family trees and giving us ideas of their relationships with each other that a picture starts to form. Nobody's left unaccounted for, kinda. It'll be interesting to see what they were like in happier times 5 years earlier. I guess we're being introduced to them in the opposite direction we've met the Lisinskis. Tragedy ahead for the Lisinskis, (comparative) lightness ahead for the O'Briens, but with the double, time travel thing where both are both. If that makes any sense at all.

Well done and I look forward to seeing where you take us next (though at this moment I'm hoping it's Bailey's circa Birth of the mechanical bull, since I'm leaving off on such a sad note)!

 

 

Reviewer: merryann Signed [Report This]
Date: 19 Jun 2015 9:18:40 AM Title: Part 15C

Now you've done it! You have a slew of new characters that will eventually need sorted ( you do have a spreadsheet, don't you?!). And a lot if circumstances that will need addressed. Looking forward to seeing how you handle all of this! Reminds me of the corners I perpetually write myself into, lol! Always fun to unravel  Also, our poor April is still stuck in the cliffhanger!  Hoping and praying for a miracle there :). Looking forward with great anticipation to the next chapter!!  If you find time on your hands, I would love for you to take a look at my stories over at ff net.  Best Regards, merryann

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Author's Response:

LOL, merryann.  Yes, I do have a spreadsheet, plus a set of family trees done in Visio!  

I had to pull that trigger and write in the O'Briens (and the Gallaghers) because eventually we will go visit Auntie Bridget for a wedding dress and of course they all want to come to the wedding.  So really, it was time to start introducing them. :-)

The April part is the thing that makes my writing slow-going at the moment -- and the reason I keep taking trips to visit other parts of this little world, like the happy past.  

Thanks for reviewing!