The Greens of Jericho

Reviewer: Shadowflame Signed [Report This]
Date: 04 Aug 2013 6:36:40 PM Title: Part 11E

Ah, the refugees arrived...

Love it that you mention that no one called Gray... *laughs*

Oh-oh... and now Heather and Jake are having a fight over that stupid party... *sigh* :(

Reviewer: Shadowflame Signed [Report This]
Date: 02 Aug 2013 8:21:23 PM Title: Part 11C

Wow, you really put many thoughts in that election process, respect!

I still hate it that Gray won... *scowls*

But I love the Lisinskis, what a caring and loving and jolly clan they are! :)

Reviewer: Shadowflame Signed [Report This]
Date: 02 Aug 2013 3:19:56 AM Title: Part 11A

You are writing again and the next chapter is close to be posted??? And I and my reviews were helping????

Yeeehah! Those are good news!!!!! *beams*

Well, if my reviews keep you going you can have a lot more of them!

And I know what you mean with life interfering more and more... have not written one word for a year now... *sigh*

Just no time to get my head free... :(

Well, that said I can't wait to read more from our favorite couple! :)

Have to go to work soon, but this Part A of the chapter I will read, now! ;)

huh... Emily...

You know, I didn't like her in the beginning of the show... but she was tough and safed Bonnie! Then she was so mean to Jake in the bunker... then it seemed she was a good friend for Heather, and I started really liking her!

She gave Heather kind of permission to try it with Jake... and even tried to give her the well-earned kudos for making the ice...

And then, suddenly, she started hitting on Jake, again!

I was like: Arrrgh! What is she doing????? She's betraying Heather's friendship!!! Did really my head in, then! *scowls*

And you picture that perfectly here... Ok, Em and Heather are no friends in DC... But Em seems to have turned round from being hurt (that Jake didn't ditch Heather somewhere in the past, that their bonding is working, that a baby is on the way) and angry at the couple to try to hit on Jake, again!

Jeeeez... so wanna smack her head despite of feeling somehow sorry for her...

Love it that you wake those controversal feelings in me! :)

 

Awwww! I knew he would confess that he loves her! So sweet! But I hate that this special moment was interrupted! Grmpf!

And is it wrong that I do wanna have one of those muffins right now? ;)

 

I like that Jeff and Michael are helping Jake getting the supplies...

 

Good chapter! :) *hugs*

Reviewer: Penny Lane Signed [Report This]
Date: 29 Jun 2008 8:30:00 PM Title: Part 11E

 

I almost missed this chapter, so when I finally realized it was up, it was like a pleasant surprise. It was wonderful! 

The beginning scene, in Bailey's, was interesting. I felt like there was a lot of unsaid stuff going on between the characters, and a really uncomfortable atmosphere.

Emily, her face burning, didn't respond. Staring straight ahead, she willed Jake away, but he didn't go. She looked down at the bar, noting how he clenched his hand around his empty glass so tightly she was surprised he hadn't managed to break it. Mary appeared before them - from where, Emily didn't know - and she let out her breath, grateful for her friend's presence.

"Who needs a refill?" Bailey's proprietress practically sang, beaming at them both. "Jake?"

"No thanks," he muttered, pulling his glass away before she could pour him another drink. "I need to talk to Eric. And - trust me - he wants to talk to me. But I'm leavin' in two minutes," Jake warned.

Mary's grin faltered a bit. "He'll be right in," she told him. "He's just - just checking on the generator for me," she muttered, pouring for Emily who'd shoved her glass toward Mary, thumping it on the bar in a wordless demand for more.

Long quote, I know, but I think it best shows what I mean. I like the way you've set up the exchanges in this scene, between Jake, Emily, Mary, and Eric.

As for the pre-bombs scenes- I love the story-telling choices you made for this chapter. Beginning with that sweet airport scene between Jake and Heather, and this line:

"Thank you," Heather murmured, beaming at him. "It's great to be home," she declared, savoring the words - the thought - for a moment while she rearranged her coat, which was draped over her arm, so she could hold the bouquet and still have one hand free. She really was home, Heather realized, her smile growing. As much as Buffalo was her home and would always be the place where she'd grown up, it also felt absolutely right to be coming home to Kansas and to Jake. "I love you," she declared, taking a step toward him. "I just - I just love you."

(I really liked seeing Heather come to this realization as she arrives and sees Jake), and then going from that scene, dropping us right into the middle of their first big fight. It was really effective, and I couldn't wait to find out what they were talking about.

I wanted to read quickly through the next part, but of course, I got distracted by another scene I loved. I loved reading about Heather (and Stanley, Dale, Bonnie, Gail, and a reluctant Jake) being roped into putting on 'A Christmas Carol' (My favourite Christmas Story of all time). Having done the same thing once (as a student though, not a teacher conned into it at the last minute) the scene was very familiar to me, and I think you got the 'frantically preparing a school play' thing just right- though I suspect things would get a lot crazier the next week. I love that Dale is gamely doing his part (and playing the ghost of Christmas past), that Stanley is helping out (I can so imagine a group of eleven-year-old girls being excited to sit with him, and that he'd be glad to have Jake there for company), and most of all, Jake's reaction (and whirlwind introduction) to the completely alien world of grade school activities. It was cute, and funny, to see Jake taking part in Heather's world. And no wonder it makes her so upset when he won't invite her into his later.

 The restaurant scene was sweet, and an interesting contrast with the Bailey's scene at the beginning. In that scene, Jake and Eric seem so much older, with so many things having happened and such conflict between them. Such a difference from the simpler days, when this happened:

 The waiter had brought their coffee then, returning two minutes later with their desserts. They'd continued their conversation, turning to lighter subjects, as they'd all dug in. Eric and April had shared their cheesecake politely, both exclaiming over its flavor, while Jake and Heather had raced to see who could eat more of the bread pudding, dueling with their forks for bites. Watching them, April had laughed, rolling her eyes for Eric's benefit. "Oh! Good block, Heather," he'd complimented, laughing. "Watch out," Eric had warned next, pointing at Jake, "He's faking right, gonna go left."

I had to quote it- it made me laugh out loud.

Eric had been tasked with pouring wine for everyone, and he'd stopped behind Heather, withholding the bottle of cabernet and teasing, "I'm sorry, miss, but I'll need to see some ID."

This did too, though poor Heather. I know the feeling. (It's worse to get carded in your twenties here in Canada because it means they think you look eighteen)

I almost forgot, but this was one of my favourite lines of the whole chapter:

"Now, that's gotta rip some sorta hole in the space-time continuum," Eric had snorted, almost choking on a mouthful of wine. "I can think of four - maybe five - teachers who'll take Jake Green at a school staff party as a sign of the apocalypse," he'd joked.

As usual, I loved how you wrote the Green family, with the three generations eating and joking together. I knew, as I read this, that the conflict between Jake and Heather was probably going to be precipitated by something Gramps would say next, but I couldn't help it, I laughed really hard at this:

"I thought you were goin' to Denver for your office party on that Saturday," Grandpa had frowned. "It's the fifteenth, right? That's what your boss said when I talked to her the other day."

Jake had shot his grandfather an incredulous look. "You talked to Gretchen? Why?"

"She called the house and you weren't home," he'd explained with a shrug. "Delightful woman," he'd smiled. "Just the right amount of vinegar in that one, and smart as a whip to boot," Grandpa had chuckled, taking a bite of lasagna. "Anyway," he'd added a few seconds later, swallowing, "We had a nice little chat, 'bout a half hour."

I knew it would soon cause my favourite characters heartache, but I couldn't not laugh at the idea of Grandpa Green on the phone with Jake's boss for half an hour.

I felt for both of them, but I really felt for Heather in the fight that proceeded when they left the family dinner. I know that Jake had his reasons, and I know you'll probably expand on them in good time, but poor Heather...As I said earlier, she's completely invited him into her life (with the exception, maybe, of inviting him to meet her brothers). In this line, though, I could feel Jake's desperation too:

Before he could respond, Heather had stepped into the house, slamming the door and then, with much noise, bolted it shut. Staring blankly after her, it was a long moment before Jake could react. He tried knocking and rang the doorbell twice, but she ignored him, instead extinguishing all the lights at the front of the house. Finally, defeated, Jake staggered back to his car, throwing himself into the driver's seat. Irritation and panic warred for dominance in his mind, and he gave into the baser of his emotions, smashing his fist into the steering wheel. "God dammit," Jake swore, punching the wheel again.

I liked how, after reading about both happy and difficult moments in the past, we are brought back to the post-bombs world, to Bailey's once more. Seeing the parts of the Green family that have broken apart being forced to stay in the same vicinity really drives home how much things have changed. Jake and Heather seem closer than ever (I smiled at the fact that Jake always knows if she's in a room, right away), and Eric is at odds with the rest of the family because of what he's done.

She hadn't been in Bailey's for nearly a month, not since the fateful day that everything had changed. The second fateful day that everything had changed, Heather allowed, though Ravenwood, Eric's desertion of April, her fight with Jake - the most serious of their relationship - had, in some ways, been worse than seeing a mushroom cloud go up over Denver. It had certainly affected them all much more personally, rocking the Green family to its core. And now, it seemed that those days that changed everything just kept coming, what with the election, and now this.

In that paragraph, I think you describe everything that happened to the Green family so well. It's so true, that while the large scale destruction in the distance has impacted them significantly, the more commonplace disaster that has befallen the Green family has, in some ways, been even more difficult for them to handle. It's certainly changed their family dynamic more than the bombs did.

As usual, I thoroughly enjoyed this chapter, and I can't wait to see what you do with chapter twelve! (And I hope we get to hear a little more about the Christmas Carol Play. Maybe. Of course it is your story.)

 

Reviewer: SandraDee Signed [Report This]
Date: 26 Jun 2008 11:08:40 PM Title: Part 11E

Sigh. I just love this story, Maryann!  Let me just say that your version of Vox Populi is far better than the aired version. 

I loved how Jake and Heather interacted at the beginning of the chapter—the promise of so much more once Jake returned from Bailey’s (much to Heather’s disdain that he was going there to see Eric).  Johnston and Drake’s reactions were cracking me up. 

"I think I finally understand why Grandpa always refused to get a hearing aid there at the end," Johnston drawled, not bothering to look up from his book.

I loved that!

Mary and Eric broke apart then, though he held onto her hand. "Mary," Emily called, waving at her friend. "Jake needs a drink," she proclaimed, pointing at her companion. "Unfortunately," she confided with her next breath, tracing the rim of her glass with one of her still perfectly manicured nails, "They're fresh out of apple wine coolers."

It figures that Emily’s fingernails would still be perfectly manicured.  So does she do with all her time, anyway?

"Well, none of us should be held responsible for what we did or said or thought when we were sixteen," he muttered, meeting her gaze. Her grimace deepened, and Jake tried to clarify. "You know what I mean," he argued. "High school was fun, but it wasn't the best years of my life. It wasn't the best years of your life, either, right? I mean, what about Roger?"

And

"You can't -" he began and then changed his mind. "We're not sixteen anymore," Jake reminded, his tone hardening. "All that's ancient history - literally half a lifetime ago," he declared. "So don't try to hurt my wife," he ordered, "And don't try to come between us."

I loved this.  I was so glad that Jake made it clear that his time with Emily was NOT the best time of his life.  She spends so much time dwelling over the past, I truly think she doesn’t know how to live in the here and now.  Additionally, I am so glad that Jake put Emily on notice about trying to use their past to hurt Heather.

"Heather post-flight check," he joked, circling around her. She started to turn around, but Jake grabbed her backpack stopping her. "One second, please," he requested, patting his hands down the sides of her pack until he brought them to rest on her hips."Jake! What are you doing?" she repeated, giggling as she twisted around to meet his eye."Just checking for brothers," he teased, giving her a little squeeze. "You're sure they didn't follow you on the plane? Sneak into your carry-on?" he questioned.Sigh.  I loved the “post-flight check” and Jake ‘looking’ for her brothers.  They are so cute together!"Sorry," Jake had apologized, still grinning softly, "But teddy bears do not belong in Star Wars."

I liked the Ewoks when I was a kid. I still do to an extent.  They are far superior to Jar Jar Binks and some of the yucky looking aliens featured in the Star Wars series.

"But Jake, whatever you do, don't marry Heather and take her away from Jericho," Mrs. McVeigh had admonished. "We want her here."

Awww….even the people around them can see how wonderful Jake and Heather are together.

Jake had wrapped his arm around Heather as she'd sat back in her chair, slumping slightly. Cupping her shoulder through the smooth fabric of the lightweight red shawl she'd worn, he'd rubbed her arm, offering a smile that was equally sympathetic and annoyed. "So," he'd began, glancing at April and Eric, "How soon do you think before everyone in town's talkin' about Jake Green, cradle robber," he'd inquired, his tone mocking."Sorry to break it to you," April had laughed softly, "But they've been talking about the two of you for weeks, cradle and all.""Heather," Eric had added then, almost managing to maintain a straight face, "All I have to say is, you must've been a beautiful baby."She'd groaned, closing her eyes. Jake, feeling her tense, had pulled her closer until she'd relaxed some, resting her head on his shoulder. "See if I ever go to dinner with you guys again," she'd muttered, frowning."Poor baby," Jake had consoled, snorting a moment later when he'd realized what he'd said. "Well, you know what I mean," he'd added, pressing a kiss to her temple.

LOL.  Poor Heather.  It’s tough being the butt of the joke.

Surprised by her suggestion, Jake had resisted the urge to frown. The truth was, he didn't want their first time together to be in a hotel room, and he really didn't want to wait three weeks. But he also wanted Heather's complete attention, undistracted and unhurried; he wanted them to enjoy themselves. "Hey," he'd said, raising one hand to capture her chin. "We'll figure it out, don't worry," Jake had told her, running his thumb over her lower lip. "Waiting a little longer probably won't kill either of us," he'd joked, offering her a regretful grin. "Tonight's just not the night."

Heehee…there is so much sexual tension between the two of them.  I can just see it coming off of them in waves.  Too bad things are so crazy schedule-wise.

Something else—I’m glad Jake didn’t want their first time to be in a hotel room.

Oh, the argument—Well, I won’t quote it, but I had to comment on it. It cracked me up.  I mean, I felt bad for them.  I really did.  But goodness could I ever relate to it!  When I think of the arguments my husband and I have had, they’ve mostly been silly things like this rather than anything major.  Anyhow, the argument struck me as being very real.

"I made a list of the injured," Mary announced, holding up the notebook she and Eric had been reviewing earlier.Annoyance flashed in April's eyes and she stared at the other woman, her expression the picture of distaste.

I really feel for April having to step foot in the tavern.  What an uncomfortable situation that must’ve been!  I’m glad that through her body language, she made it clear to Mary how she felt about her.

"Right," Drake nodded, moving to the table and picking up one of the towels, which he dropped into the pot of water. "April's husband.""Uh, yeah," Eric grimaced, "Sort of."

Grrrrrrr at Eric.  I know that he’s told April about Mary, but I can’t help but feel that the way he carries on with Mary in public is incredibly insensitive.  It’s bad enough to cheat on his wife, but to now do it so blatantly is just crass.  That was one of my major issues with his character on the show—that decided lack on character.  I mean, in all other ways, Eric was such an upstanding guy, but I can’t even begin to tell you how many times I wanted to throw things at my t.v. when the Mary/Eric storyline was on. 

Other things I enjoyed: 

the dessert hockey game
the Jake/Drake name rhyme mention
getting the info about how exactly that group of refugees was able to walk into town through the checkpoints